"You must love yourself before you love someone else."
That's not true. One can love someone before loving one's self; it's very very possible and very probable. But there are the people who think that if one lets another treat them wrong then one doesn't love one's self. That's wrong. One just loves the other person more than they love their self. One would just rather have the fraction of emotion the person shows than no emotion at all. Being afraid to be alone isn't the same as not loving one's self either. Being afraid to be alone is being afraid of oneself. Being afraid of the thoughts that present when left alone.
And the more you try to fix it the more messed up it becomes because they're no longer interested because they no longer care because what you have to offer isn't satisfying the desires that have presented themselves. You're not what you once were, or maybe you are and they just see it clearer now. Blind? Maybe but in what sense of the word? On what side is the blindness occurring?
Where would this road lead us? The question is forever out there because I don't know. Had the situation been different would the outcome still have been the same? Was it a good thing or not? Were we already predestined? It is me but it's you. And it's this, but it's not. But it is and you know but I don't and we knew but we didn't and things change but they haven't. And things that were said took the place of things that should have been said. And there's no temptation like you thought, just sadness and disappointment. Regret? No. Mistakes? Yes. Apologies? Infinite and sincere. I haven't enough breaths in this lifetime to explain it to you, but I mean it. All of it.
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