#77: The Eve Of The Beginning

In retrospect, I have done a lot of things that should be called to question. However, the things I noticed about you should fall under the same scrutiny. What am I suppose to do? Given two choices, isn't there suppose to be a lesser of the two evils? Am I currently missing it due to the fact that I don't want to make the wrong decision? Either way, something gets lost and it's a matter of what I'm willing to do without.
The decision seems neither easy nor simple, yet I keep trying to fit it into this "cookie cut" category. Things don't always fit the way one expects them too. I'm learning that now. If this is possible, could it be possible that some things just are the way they are without true reason behind them? I find that hard to accept. Maybe because accepting that means I accept that you're evil for no reason.
I honestly can't explain why I even tolerate it. Friendship; could a word so simple be so complex? Why is that while everything else is falling into place, a dark cloud still follows me? The human mind is a fascinating thing. Anger and fury can fill your heart, yet in the same instant, compassion and a certain softness can conquer. It's hard hating someone for what they've done, but sympathizing because you understand they're hurt.

It's sad to see how bad off you are when everything is coming together for me. Never have I been so genuinely satisfied with my situation. Never have I smiled such a true smile. Never have I felt more close to knowing who I am.

"I would never have placed us together because we're so different, but I couldn't see myself with anyone else."
Forever.