#46

I've been a very very bad girl. No, not really. But I really should be doing my current events and reading for my History Quiz tomorrow, but I'll do that after I post this.

I only originally got on to post this comment on my Composition Honors class blog. Yeah I know, mad weird but whatever. Ms. Burke's cool in her own crazy way. Continuing on though, let's see what's been going on. I don't remember what I posted last so I guess I'll just start from what's mainly been going on:
My friend Lupe died yesterday. Well since it's now the 12th, she died 2 days ago. I mean she was in the hospital in a coma from about 2 or 3 weeks and believe it or not, I really didn't think she was going to die. And it's so odd how I'm dealing with it. I cried the night it happened. I cried because she was gone, but I think I cried more because I couldn't feel anything. And then because it was another person who left. Granted she didn't "leave" like everyone else did, but it's still like she left. I mean I remember when all my crew had that big falling out and we all stopped talking. Lupe was the one who was there for me all the time. And her history shows her to be a pretty flaky person, yenno the type that would ditch you for a guy? Well yeah, but she never did that to me, but because I'd seen her do it before, I tried not to get as close to her. But that was my girl though. I still can't help but feel this is my fault. I mean ol' boy (her ex-boyfriend) only beat her up as badly because Tony beat his ass after her hit her the first time. But Tony would have never found out if it wasn't for me. Maybe for once I should have kept my mouth closed. But I honestly did think I was doing something good. I really did.

Mariah came over that night. I think she was the distraction I needed though, because I really didn't want to think. Especially not about that. Oh, how are we? Tonight I don't know what her deal was. I may have been seeing something that wasn't there or maybe she was being unusually unusual for no reason. Like okay so we were on the phone right (take the previous paragraph of what was on my mind and add really bad allergies, a fight with my mom and a towed car and you have the makings of a very irritable Kenne) and we're talking. And I had called her before on both her phones and no answer so when she called me back she was like "I was busy." Maybe on a good/bad/whatever you want to call it day, I would have asked her what she was busy with, but 1. I knew she wasn't going to tell me and 2. I knew that I would just be asking she'd say it wasn't anything to be concerned with, I'd get mad at her for keeping shit from me and we'd get into an altercation and I really didn't want to deal with that yenno? So I avoided it like the plague. Then my phone lost connection because I like in hell where we get little to no reception. Anywhos I called her back on the room phone and both times the line was busy so I'm like okay call her cell. That went straight to voicemail. So I called the room again and no answer. So I texted her and was like "blah blah blah I called no answer, I'll talk to you later." Now as I was composing the text, my phone rang and it was Kat, my friend and one of Lupe's like bestfriends or something of the sort. And Kat already has issues and shit so she called me crying asking me to come outside so I did. And I put my phone in the car and was standing outside of it with her. Now my phone pretty much stays on vibrate during the week, so I didn't hear it. And when I was walking back to the car, I saw the little LED light flashing so I got it and saw I had 2 missed calls and I was about to call her back when I got her text so I respond or whatever and she's answering me HELLA SHORT type shit. I'm like okay what's wrong and she's like nothing blah blah blah, but I think she's lying and I'm like okay I'll call you when I get in the house. Long story short I'm at Kat's now and I told Mariah I was going over there yenno, and when I called her to tell her I'm like yeah I'm staying at Kat's blah blah blah and she's like aight cool. And I'm like okay, I'll talk to you later then and she's like aight bye. And I'm in the process of saying I love you when she hangs up.

I'm not mad though. I'm really not, like there's no point in being mad yenno. If somethings bothering her, all I can do is ask. If she wants to be odd about it, then that's her choice and I can't MAKE her tell me stuff yenno? So like yeah, I don't even sweat the small stuff. And like 2 mins ago she texted me apologizing which I really do appreciate. She never use to do that, like I would be the one calling her like "ughh I hate that it's weird between us blah blah blah" but that's incredibly annoying to me and probably to her (which I doubt she'd ever admit) so I quit doing it. I mean really though, things between her and I have gotten so much better. Despite tonight (or last night, however you wanna look at it), she's been mad open with me. It's refreshing to not have to worry about me and her. I kind of just let shit happen the way it's going to happen now yenno, and it's working out better that way.

Hmm, what else what else? There's probably more, but this blog already seems long enough and I still have to do my homework. So yeah, until next time.