#56

Children wishing snow globes translated to real life. I'm a child with that dream. A dream of peaceful nights with snow and little towns were everyone knows one another and the only thing there is to worry about is who's going to shovel the snow out of the drive way in the morning.
There is no constant. Nothing remains the same and sadness engulfs everything around it turning it black and meaningless. How can a room filled with silence sound so loud? Slowly drowning me in everything it is. I wish for the days of happiness, of blissfulness. So far gone I hardly believe they existed.
Because I know the outcome of you.
Because I know what you will do.
Because I know how much it matters to you.
Because I know I can't do it.
Because the answer is never as clear as it may seem.
Because a guy named Murphy has laws that apply to the common man.
Because nothing will ever be the same again.
Because there's too much snow to for just one person to shovel.

I wish for the days where you and I could be fine. Time is forever closing in on us, on me. How long will I be here? Not long and it's not fair for me to bring you down with me. I fear what possesses me because of what it could do...to you. Because I'm not right and you are. You need something more than I can give...

I'm sorry.