#48

The 48th blog post. Almost the 50th. I don't know why I'm saying that, but it just seemed pretty cool to me. Maybe I'm just weird.

Anywho though, interesting phone conversation last night. Like ohmy, it caught me off guard. But in all honesty, it shouldn't have. I should have been expecting it because I know better. I should be use to expecting the unexpected. Eshh, I felt bad though, but I don't really know what was going on my heart. My brain was in the way of that and was NOT trying to ease up. Which I'm happy about, but then again I'm pretty curious as to what it was I was feeling. Like I don't even know what I was suppose to feel, but I don't really think there's a type of protocol for these types of things. Hmm... very interesting. I'm pretty shocked though and I think that's why I can't feel anything for the situation. It hasn't really hit me yet, but I'm really afraid of what I may feel when it does hit me. Like will I consider it or what? Because yeah people should be allowed to redeem themselves, but there's a limit my dude. Like how many times have you...whatever I know the facts of the situation and I'm not like retarded with this I'm just really like Hmm...random much? It's really been on my brain and I don't really want to talk to anyone about it because who I want to talk to about it, I can't because it's really not an appropriate topic to talk to them about. And then the other people I want to talk to have preconceived notions which they really should because of the stuff that happened but I don't know. I think I just want someone to listen. Or no, I want someone to tell me about how I should feel about this because I'm really pretty confused. Like not in the way that you'd expect because on that, I'm not. I'm not confused about that at all (Oh how foul it would be for me to be confused this late in the game. Such irony). But that's what's confusing me. The fact that I'm not confused in the typical sense of the word and the fact that I'm confused about these feelings that I'm not feeling. I guess I should just wait for the shock to wear off.

Oh my, but these muthafucking females. OOOOHHHHHH I was so heated today. Like ughh, bitch back up you're not even gay, but she is. And she be on her shit like wtf for real though? For real? And then this one, she wants to act like she's cool with everything, but I'm hearing that if she could she'd "fuck that bitch up" and that the other one needs to "get the fuck over herself" which is crazy funny mainly because she doesn't curse and partly because she's another one who isn't gay but is. Ughh dumb. And then ol' boy? Hmm wow at that. He's cool though. OHHHHHH and this young one. She's a trip, like wow. Interesting interesting. Total craziness. ANDDDDDDDDDDDDD this one, always up under me and shit. That would be and interesting match up though...hmm? Nawwwwww stop it stop it. But yeahh, I don't even know man. I don't even know.

Today I had my Learning For Life kids, and I LOVE THEM! They're so amazingly cute and my God, they're so fucking smart. Lil' Mama is my girl though (we had them write the name they wanted us to call them and that's what she wanted). And Maya was sweet too, but I think the sweetest one was Ashley with her pretty ass hair and what not. She was so cute, so shy but then again not. Idk, and they loved them some Mikee (Mike-EEEEEEEE heheh inside joke). They loved us (yeah, Sadu was there too mhmmm). Oh and the teacher, Ms. Council, she's so damn funny. She's black and so damn hood, like she was like "No. Today is a NO day so everything you ask the answer is NO." Hehe she was amazingly funny. Yeah, that's the only thing that made my day better because before that, can you say MAJORLY GAY! Especially stupid ass History. That's the ONLY CLASS where I have a C. Like wtf? I hate History and I hate fucking Mrs. Lee's ol' snobby ass with her bitch ass attitude problem, but my Lord, she's fucking hott as shit. Mhmmmmm.

Anyway, my eyes hurt. I'm running on like 45minutes of sleep. Real talk my dude, so until next time.