#7

Whoa, this blogspot got me in a lot of trouble. Well I'm not sure, kinda.

Basically, what I said was interpreted wrong and I hate that. I hate being misunderstood. Because it wasn't meant to make her upset; I didn't want to hurt her. That's the last LAST thing I wanted to do, but like I like her so much that I keep messing up ya know? Shit. I hate that.

But like for real, I like her too much, it scares me sometimes. I don't know why, I'm just really afraid to get attached ya know? And eshh, I feel like sometimes when I'm with her, I'm just messing shit up. But she makes me feel so good. Like I'm the shit even when I'm not. It's like I get this ultimate natural high whenever she's around. Nothing can touch me kind of stuff ya know and it's so weird because I wouldn't be expecting to feel that. I don't get that happy ever and it's really noticeable.

But I get so afraid. Like I feel like I could lose her so quickly ya know and I don't want that. AT ALL. It's like I don't want to lose one of the only things that makes me extremely happy, on that ecstatic "type shit." I'm not trying to fuck this up, she's like one of the only good things I have going for me right now. And I can't seem to get her off my mind ever. It's so crazy, and it scares me so much. Like what if one day she finds a way to get me off of her mind? What am I suppose to do then? Like this girl got me seriously trippin and thinking thoughts that I usually don't think. That shit is just having me so dayumm nervous. When I get around her, I have mini heart attacks. And when she touches me, wow. Not even gonna start (no I'm not over hear having orgasms hehehe calm down killer).

I'm really really fallen for her and I'm so afraid that she just may let me hit the ground. But as afraid as I may be, I'm still going to let myself fall.