#78: The Age of Discovery

Simple thing fascinate me.

I enjoy seeing people who believe they have reached a higher maturity level than that of their peers when they are restoring to similar tactics of making said peers aware of this. I believe this to be what we call irony. Am I passing judgment? Forgive me if the impression given off was such; that was not my intention. I'm simply observing my surroundings. Curiously enough, I'm guilty of the same error in judgment- I'm allowed to say that right, being as it my actions that I'm judging.

I don't want to call it luck, destiny or anything of the sort, but certain decisions that I made have cause me to reevaluate what I believed to me be. In a previous entry, I recall saying that I stood amidst the rubble left after the destruction of what I believed to be me and after analyzing the pieces left behind, I've realized that I wasn't happy with who I was. I was blessed with a muse who helped me to see I had to remove my mask to reveal the true ipseity that resided beneath. I now feel the urge to shout from the mountain tops "I AM ME AND I AM HAPPY." Because I am; it's not that I am me it's more that I have become acquainted with me. A feeling which is a result of deep thinking and inspiration: "I think therefore I am."

I'm more aware of the basic wonders in life. Just because you understand how something works doesn't stop it from being magical.

#77: The Eve Of The Beginning

In retrospect, I have done a lot of things that should be called to question. However, the things I noticed about you should fall under the same scrutiny. What am I suppose to do? Given two choices, isn't there suppose to be a lesser of the two evils? Am I currently missing it due to the fact that I don't want to make the wrong decision? Either way, something gets lost and it's a matter of what I'm willing to do without.
The decision seems neither easy nor simple, yet I keep trying to fit it into this "cookie cut" category. Things don't always fit the way one expects them too. I'm learning that now. If this is possible, could it be possible that some things just are the way they are without true reason behind them? I find that hard to accept. Maybe because accepting that means I accept that you're evil for no reason.
I honestly can't explain why I even tolerate it. Friendship; could a word so simple be so complex? Why is that while everything else is falling into place, a dark cloud still follows me? The human mind is a fascinating thing. Anger and fury can fill your heart, yet in the same instant, compassion and a certain softness can conquer. It's hard hating someone for what they've done, but sympathizing because you understand they're hurt.

It's sad to see how bad off you are when everything is coming together for me. Never have I been so genuinely satisfied with my situation. Never have I smiled such a true smile. Never have I felt more close to knowing who I am.

"I would never have placed us together because we're so different, but I couldn't see myself with anyone else."
Forever.

#76: Behind The Mask

"What makes you want to be faithful to her all of a sudden?"
"Because she deserves it."

I love you.

#75: The Matrix

I've unknowingly been letting someone else shape my opinion. The ironic thing, however, is that we are both independent thinkers; in other words we're the people who won't allow our opinions to be shaped by the opinions of those around us. It was an intentional act on the other persons' side and unfortunately, I didn't notice this for a while due to my naivety. But my eyes are open now.

We took the red pill tonight. I wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes...