#10

She hasn't been one of the best of friends lately. Not at all.

It's like I understand that she's going through stuff with her family and the whole coming out thing, I really do get it. But she's not being a friend at all. She's suppose to be my best friend, and I was always there when she needed to talk and what not and I've always cared about her happiness, but she can't take 2 minutes or so out of her day to call me? What's up with that?

And she's been lying and I've been catching her in them. Like I won't say anything because it doesn't make me mad, it kind of just disappoints me. Someone who's suppose to be my best friend is lying to me, straight to my face instead of just telling me the cold truth. Like I really don't care if she wants to go hang with her girlfriend. My personal feelings aside that's her girlfriend so I show her that respect. And I get that she doesn't want me to have to hang with her and her girlfriend or whatever, but come on. Since when do you put you're significant other before your best friend? I thought it was bros before hoes. Or did I just get the wrong memo?

For someone who supposedly holds the role "best friend" in high regards, she surely isn't acting like a best friend. And the sad thing is, is that I've already spoken to her about this. It could have been easy for me to be like, "whatever fuck her, I don't need that bitch," but I'm not gonna do that to someone I consider a best friend. Maybe that's be being ignorant or what not, but as long as I can sleep at night, I'm fine.

I just don't get it though. I really don't and this sort of sucks.

#9

Hehehe, she's so funny and I'm such a creep.

So I asked her out because I knew she wouldn't do it. Then I broke up with her so that she'd do it. Hehehe we're retarded. But I like her. :D<3!

#8

Everyone seems to be getting over their ex's. It's a beautiful thing.

I mean it took me long enough right? Something like 400 thousand years, well at least that's what it felt like. And I'm so proud of myself. Sometimes it seems like it's something I shouldn't even make a big deal out of, but it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But you know what? I feel good. Like I'm really done with all that drama.

And in plus, I'm fallen for someone else; someone better. She's such a sweet heart and ahhh, I really really REALLY like her. Like everything about her makes me happy and she's just so aljdlfjaljdljflajlgjodjaojeo. I can't describe it. But everything she does makes me feel so great because basically she's the shit.

Life's getting pretty good now.

#7

Whoa, this blogspot got me in a lot of trouble. Well I'm not sure, kinda.

Basically, what I said was interpreted wrong and I hate that. I hate being misunderstood. Because it wasn't meant to make her upset; I didn't want to hurt her. That's the last LAST thing I wanted to do, but like I like her so much that I keep messing up ya know? Shit. I hate that.

But like for real, I like her too much, it scares me sometimes. I don't know why, I'm just really afraid to get attached ya know? And eshh, I feel like sometimes when I'm with her, I'm just messing shit up. But she makes me feel so good. Like I'm the shit even when I'm not. It's like I get this ultimate natural high whenever she's around. Nothing can touch me kind of stuff ya know and it's so weird because I wouldn't be expecting to feel that. I don't get that happy ever and it's really noticeable.

But I get so afraid. Like I feel like I could lose her so quickly ya know and I don't want that. AT ALL. It's like I don't want to lose one of the only things that makes me extremely happy, on that ecstatic "type shit." I'm not trying to fuck this up, she's like one of the only good things I have going for me right now. And I can't seem to get her off my mind ever. It's so crazy, and it scares me so much. Like what if one day she finds a way to get me off of her mind? What am I suppose to do then? Like this girl got me seriously trippin and thinking thoughts that I usually don't think. That shit is just having me so dayumm nervous. When I get around her, I have mini heart attacks. And when she touches me, wow. Not even gonna start (no I'm not over hear having orgasms hehehe calm down killer).

I'm really really fallen for her and I'm so afraid that she just may let me hit the ground. But as afraid as I may be, I'm still going to let myself fall.